Hey! So Glad You're Here.
My name is Yahir Gonzalez, I am a fourth year at the University of Washington where I study Neuroscience and am a part of the Interdisciplinary Honors Program. I hope that you find my portfolio centers community, as I would be nothing without it. My learning statement is quite long winded but I found it necessary to provide context to my pursuit of education:
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One of my earliest memories was waking up to the sound of soft sniffles coming from the dining table. Who I found, under the dim kitchen light, was my mother – dictionary in her lap as she struggled through my English homework. She would have to be ready for work in a few hours, yet, she was determined to learn English – not just for her own sake but also so she could help me with my schoolwork that I had grown frustrated with the evening prior. From that moment, I promised myself to be the first in my family to graduate from university. I would ensure that the sacrifices my family had made were for good reason.
Luckily, I was not alone – every step of the way I had a strong community supporting me, and I hope that is what you all will take from my Honors Portfolio. Everything I’ve done at the University of Washington has been with my culture, my people, and my broader community in mind. I applied to college and the Honors Program with the intention of dedicating my studies and future career towards the eradication of poverty in hopes of contributing to a gentler world for those that have suffered, or lost their lives, at the hands of exploitation and empire. Intimidated by my goal, I was uncertain of where I could even begin.
Reflecting on my upbringing, I came to recognize the ways in which empire has influenced the health of those in my community. This, combined with my own journey at a community health clinic made me consider pursuing my goal through the lens of medicine. When I started at the University of Washington, I struggled, I struggled hard. During my first few quarters in university I failed many exams and barely managed to pass the introductory prerequisite courses required to apply to medical school. I also worried about my ability to continue in higher education as my poor grades placed my scholarship, my only ability to pay for school, in jeopardy – I worried that I had failed my younger self and those that had gotten me to this point. Worst of all, I felt alone, the community that had instilled in me the love of people fading. The science I was learning felt so detached from my purpose for pursuing medicine and the realities of those that I dreamt of serving.
However, I was reminded of my capability and need to be a physician by two instances. The first came in the form of two instructors, both of whom I still keep in contact with. In BIOL 180, another intimidating class with hundreds of students, my professor opened up about her academic setbacks. She had dropped out of college from the pressure of competition, yet, she still managed to complete graduate school. This vulnerability made me recognize that I did not need to have the perfect trajectory or be the best student to succeed. Emphasizing vulnerability, a teaching assistant, supported my aspirations unconditionally and allowed me a space to speak of the inequities I seek to dismantle as a physician. Before this point, I thought that it was inappropriate to speak about these experiences and ideas in scientific settings but I was proven otherwise – an idea that would allow me to build community for underrepresented students in science. The other instance, much more stark, remains at the core of my motivations.
When I returned home for spring break, I accompanied my mom and grandma to their nightly janitorial shift – leaving my siblings home alone. Earlier that day, the middle child was showing clear signs of distress that we were uncertain how to address. While working, we received a call from the youngest, we could hear my brother gasping for air as he suffered a severe panic attack. We rushed home and dialed for help. After the incident, I asked him why he didn’t reach out for help—why he didn’t call 911, why he was feeling this way—his response reminded me of my purpose. He spoke of the fears he carried as a brown boy and the weight of our socioeconomic struggles. He didn’t call for support because he feared police involvement might place his life in jeopardy and he worried that the cost of an ambulance or hospital stay would be more than our family could bear.
In a just world, a teenage boy should never have these concerns – this served as a drastic reminder of my purpose, to bring healing to those like us. This rude awakening was paired with an Honors class that centered around community inclusion and equity in which I learned about the Beacon Hill neighborhood. Witnessing the love that the Beacon Hill residents had for one another and the space they occupied, I knew I would have to borrow from their community building abilities to uplift and create communities at the UW that would allow for conversations centering the health of the underserved, brining a purpose to the abstract concepts I was learning in my science courses. Right away, I became more involved in Grey Matters Journal and Chicanos for Community Medicine – both with the intention of growing the number of underrepresented students pursuing careers in medicine in science in hopes of one day having a strong workforce ready to serve those most in need.
Community, outreach, and mentorship has encapsulated my undergraduate experience from that point on. Not only have I been a lucky recipient of all three but I am proud of the efforts I have made in providing such support to other underrepresented students. As I move forward and prepare for the medical school application, I hope to one day continue paying it forward as a medical student and eventually a physician. My favorite quote by Dr. Angela Davis reads, “It is in collectivities that we find reservoirs of hope and optimism.” This quote speaks to my UW story strongly – community allowed me the privilege to attend the University of Washington, community is what has embodied my UW experience, and community will push me to strive for a kinder world