My First Year at the U of WA

My baccalaureate career began nonideally to my standards; my expectations for college were not realized. I turned to community building and humility to make the most of my time.

Autumn Quarter 2021

When I first applied to college, I thought that I would be studying political science. After reflecting on some pivotal moments during the tail-end of my high school experience, I chose to pursue neuroscience. Here, I'm holding a real human brain during the Grey Matters Dawg Daze event. I quickly became mesmerized by the work of this student organization and their mission to make neuroscience accessible to people regardless of their background in science. I promptly chose to apply for their diversity director position. I would initially be denied from the position which was disheartening but this did not hinder my meaningful engagement in the organization through their outreach team.

I never thought I would be scarred by the torus. After a MATH 125 exam, I drowned my sorrows in donuts. I thought it would be fun to assign the donut arbitrary width and length values to calculate its volume. My results from this exam were surprisingly good, I knew math would be a struggle entering college so I was very proud of my achievement. Unfortunately, this was the peak of my performance and I would fail the next two exams. Somehow, I managed to pass the class but I was left discouraged. This quarter, both socially and academically, proved to be disappointing. As I lost sleep and my health deteriorated, I wondered if I would be able to continue pursuing my goal of serving marginalized communities as a physician if I could barely pass general chemistry. I also worried about my ability to financially pay for school as my poor grades put my scholarships in jeopardy. I felt guilt, thinking that all my family's sacrifices had gone to waste - having to give up now.

A high school friend of mine and I hosted some old friends that now attend the University of Oregon for the big rivalry game. While I reflected on this picture and this memory, I began to realize that my personal priorities were not as they should have been. Instead of being completely immersed in the company of my friends, I found myself constantly anxious about work that ideally should have been completed prior. I understand the importance of work-life balance but I felt a sense of pressure to constantly be socializing. For me, this was just unrealistic and I learned that this amount of socialization left me burnt out. Especially as a first-generation student, I had a significant amount to learn about navigating the university system before I could continue taking on relationships - especially considering that these relationships deserved much more from me than I could provide at this time. These are things I wished I realized sooner.

Winter Quarter 2022

This is a picture of a candy prize I had received from my chemistry TA for having the most accurate date for the titration lab. I have an immense gratitude for my TA team this quarter. My biology TA, Jazzmine, especially made me feel comfortable in a scientific environment. My attendance in office hours resulted in academic and social progress that I was hoping would characterize winter quarter.

This picture was taken the weekend prior to finals week at the Showbox, I was there to watch one of my favorite bands, Peach Pit. I had bought two tickets early in autumn quarter but I was uneasy about attending since I was under the impression that I had to study all day and night to prepare for finals. My friend that was supposed to come with me was unable to because she did not feel prepared for her exams. I chose to take a risk and unwind before my finals regardless and I invited a friend that I was just getting to know. We met up with some of his high school friends and the night was amazing, it was a great show and it allowed me to relax heading into a stressful week. If I had not gone I know I would have regretted it; Peach Pit may not tour again but there will be finals waiting for me for many years to come. As I mentioned, finding the perfect balance between school and entertainment is a difficult equilibrium to reach - I did a much better job this quarter.

My work with the Grey Matters outreach team resulted in a promotion, I was offered the diversity director position I had applied for during the fall. This picture was from our visit to Kentridge High School. We performed a brain dissection for the students and talked to them about science, college, and other interests. I was proud to be a part of STEM accessibility efforts, more on the impacts this had on me soon.

Spring Quarter 2022

This is a picture of me performing a brain dissection in front of three young students who had recently migrated from Latin America. Auburn High School hosted my most meaningful experience with Grey Matters. The event began with an emotional panel in which myself and other Grey Matters volunteers were the panelists. We want to encourage openness and humanity in science so although we were posed with difficult and personal questions we ensured our answers were genuine and vulnerable, in hopes the students would feel comfortable around us.

I was pleasantly surprised when it was time to perform the brain dissections, I was to dissect the brain in front of Latino students who primarily spoke Spanish. I get emotional thinking about the opportunity I was given to communicate science in my mother tongue, Spanish, to a group of inspiring young men that looked like me. I hope that they left this event with a stronger interest in science and their education, I know I certainly took a lot from our brief connection and since then I have become more vigorous in my advocacy for underrepresented minorities in STEM - Grey Matters saw great growth in outreach initiatives this quarter and there seems to be no signs of slowing down. Following the event, my peers and I went to Menchie's, it is more appropriate to call them my friends though.

I am grateful to have met so many wonderful people so far at the UW. I would say spring quarter is when I decided to finally let myself open up more to the people in my classes and clubs, I found that UW felt more like home when I started doing this. Relationships take time, vulnerability, and commitment; I was not prepared to invest myself into such friendships when I was struggling to figure out myself academically and personally but this quarter really allowed me to build that foundation.

The quarter was emotionally straining, especially towards the end when acts of gun violence were prevalent in the media following the Buffalo and Uvalde shootings. It felt so odd to have to continue studying during a time of mourning and crisis. I really depended on my friends and group study sessions during these awful times to keep me grounded and hopeful for the future.

Honors 394: Community Inclusion and Equity in the Changing Public Realm, taught by the inspiring and caring Ariana Cantu, had to be my favorite and most important course I have taken thus far in my undergraduate career. The picture to the left is of our class during our site visit to Capitol Hill. The class was incredibly engaging in the sense that we were given the opportunity to visit the neighborhoods we were researching, our visits and conversations were always facilitated by a stakeholder and community organizer in the respective community and there was so much I learned from each of them. To give a general understanding of this course, we were divided into small teams of four to six students and each group was to research a specific Seattle neighborhood. Our research was presented in the format of a story map, our goal was to provide a narration of our neighborhoods while emphasizing place making and place keeping as a function of factors of change such as the pandemic, gentrification, and local politics. I will discuss my connection to my team and site more soon.

I would like to begin by expressing my gratitude and admiration for the instructor of this course. Ariana Cantu is a Lantix queer-identifying woman. Although I cannot relate to all aspects of her identity, I know her positionality spoke to different demographics of students in the class, this nourished an inviting and safe space for many marginalized peoples to come together and discuss difficult matters. Ariana beautifully grounded my peers and I in the space we were occupying, the image to the right was taken outside our classroom on the Quad. Everyday we were given breaks and were encouraged to enjoy the outdoors when the weather permitted. During midterms, Ariana set aside thirty minutes to do a craft in which we made small pouches of lavender to destress and reinforce the community we had built.

This is a picture of Noelani with a café cat during our site visit to the China Town International District, our friendship was strengthened by this class, a testament to the community building theme of the class. Ariana strongly advocated for the notion of genuine relationships, this class allowed me to realize the importance of community and identity. I would be inspired by Ariana, the coursework, and the neighborhood of Beacon Hill, to connect with my roots and allow myself to build a home at UW that resembled my own. I finally joined a Latinx organization called Chicanos for Community Medicine. I always felt like I was missing something while at was at the UW and this course made me evaluate myself to figure out what that was, it was the company of people that shared my upbringing and culture.

This picture on the depicts an ofrenda for Roberto Maestas, it is a Mexican traditional offering altar that is commonly associated with El Día de Muertos. This ofrenda is located inside El Centro de la Raza, a community center in Beacon Hill that Maestas was largely responsible for founding. I was reminded of how proud I am to be Mexican whenever we visited the Beacon Hill site. I would teach them about Mexican culture as we snacked on my favorite childhood treats from a mercado in Beacon Hill called La Esperanza. I would be lying if I said there were no frustrating moments; but again, Ariana's wisdom when it came to team building and dispute resolution proved to be of great use to us. My team and research about this neighborhood has granted me great amounts of professional humility. I hope to reflect the love that Beacon Hill residents have for their neighborhood in my own communities and work. This class has left a long-lasting mark on me, I am so thankful for this learning community.

(https://storymaps.arcgis.com/stories/95408ea17fee4078aecaa6294d633456 My team's story map can be found at this link.)