My SHPEP Experience

If safe space was an adjective then I would know no better way to describe my fellow Summer Health Profession Education Program scholars. This summer enrichment program provided me with a community that has invigorated my desire to pursue medicine.

Applying and Online Experience

I learned about this program through my friend, Raiyan, initially I was hesitant as I did not feel like I would be a competitive applicant. I has some trouble sending my transcripts and letter of recommendation, I took this as a sign to not get my hopes up to high so you can imagine my surprise and delight when I learned I had been accepted into the program. I promptly notified my grandma and excitedly waited for my mom to come home to let her know as well. The program began online in which we attended class via Zoom. At first conversing with one another was somewhat awkward but soon enough we got to know each other and grew excited to meet one another.

During this time, my entire family had gotten COVID so it was difficult to appreciate the virtual space I was sharing with my peers. Thankfully I expected a full recovery just in time to move into McCarty Hall with everyone. Despite my excitement, I was worried that I had made the wrong choice. Perhaps my summer was better spent working; I also felt incredible guilt knowing I would be away from my family for the entirety of July after having just moved back in. What if my peers subscribed to the toxic pre-med mentality, would I be miserable for four weeks? Despite this, I chose to approach the program with an open heart. After all, it's not common to be surrounded by so many people of color at the U of WA.

The First Week

Move in day presented my roommate and I with some trouble, our door's lock was not functioning and we were notified that we would have to switch rooms - only after I had unpacked and organized everything. Because we were moving, we missed the first "boba run," which included a larger number of the SHPEP scholars. I worried that I missed my chance to introduce myself to everyone. I quickly learned how open my peers would be, later that night I was heading to Safeway on my own when I was invited to play "spicy" UNO. Everyone was so kind and inviting, a few of them even offered to accompany me to Safeway late at night. Our willingness to trust off the bat was warming.

The first actual day was our Fourth of July BBQ, in which I got to meet a group of guys who I would become good buddies with. I would introduce them to frisbee and now we all swear we could go pro. We began our classes which consisted of biology, organic chemistry, population health, and guided wellness. Through these lenses we discussed diabetes mellitus and issues of health inequities, primarily as it pertained to social determinants of health. Throughout my time in SHPEP, I gained a greater understanding of what type of doctor I wish to be. Not specialty perse, but issues of inequity and stigmatization that I wish to aid in dismantling. I will touch on this more as I continue to reflect.

Being one of few UW students in the program, I became the designated tour guide which was such a blessing as I was able to build relationships with the majority of my peers. Since the school year keeps me busy, it was also nice to play tourist for a month. I showed my friends around Pike Place and a number of us went kayaking on Montlake over the first weekend of the program.

The Second Week

The second week brought many developments to be excited about, we began simulation labs, it was our first week of shadowing, and it would be topped off with a trip to Mt. Rainier over the weekend. I was fortunate enough to shadow Dr. Fernando Vega, the first Filipino graduate from the UW School of Medicine. To be honest, I had been disappointed when I learned I was not assigned a psychiatrist but I quickly fell in love with family medicine - especially the way Dr. Vega practiced. To put things bluntly, Dr. Vega is somewhat nonconventional, combining pharmaceuticals with alternative medicine to best meet his patients at where they feel comfortable. Unfortunately for me, Dr. Vega practices in a private clinic which is what gives him such flexibility but I would love to be able to implement some of his techniques in a community clinic. I greatly appreciated Dr. Vega's patients' willingness to allow an undergraduate student to sit in on their appointments. I learned so much about patient-physician relationships, observed Botox injections, performed a prostate check, and more.

An indigenous speaker from the School of Public Health came in this week to teach us about the indigenous wheels of medicine, as an aspiring psychiatrist this presentation was so eye opening. A large concern of mine is the stigma many BIPOC folk, especially Latinos, have towards mental health and mental health treatment. The philosophies provided by indigenous people provided me with an approach that is much more tangible for the community I wish to serve. It falls in line with what I was learning with Dr. Vega, combining different aspects of medicine and self. I have become motivated to learn about traditional, natural, and alternative approaches as I see great progress being made here.

The Mt. Rainier trip was incredibly magical. I joke that the UW HFS would eat up any of the pictures. For many of my peers this was their first time seeing snow or hiking. When we reached the peak we all facetimed our families, I was filled with joy to share these moments with them.

The Third Week

The third week, much like the second, continued the schedule of classes, shadowing, and bonding time. The image to the left was taken during our dentistry simulation lab. Although making impressions was fun and I was pretty good at filling cavities, I cannot imagine myself as a dentist - it's not that interesting to me despite being hands-on. Moreover, I could use some serious practice on some of the physical aspects of healthcare. Nevertheless, this was by far the most engaging and interesting simulation lab that we had an opportunity to take part in. The staff was incredibly kind and they ensured that we could partake in a number of activities. Did you know dentists need to do work inverted?

This picture was taken after my second time shadowing Dr. Vega, I was so lucky for this experience. However, my peers in the public health pathway were not afforded such opportunities from the beginning. Tensions were high at this point, the national board came to hear our grievances with the program, again I was inspired by my peers ability to communicate their concerns in such an eloquent fashion. The program is now having to reconsider and reconstruct their public health curriculum.

Ever since I started college, I became really insecure to do things on my own. I spent this Sunday of the program going on adventures by myself, I am so proud for my progress in enjoying my own company. I woke up early because Remi Wolf, one of my favorite artists, was doing a meet and greet. Remi was a pleasure to meet and she even signed my CD. After posting this selfie on Instagram, Sophia (one of my team members from Honors 394), messaged me asking if I was going to her show at the Capitol Hill Block Party. I didn't have tickets but she offered me hers for free! I went alone but had a blast watching her, Duckwrth, and 100gecs.

One of the guest speakers for the week was Dr. Ben Danielson, a pediatrician working to dismantle healthcare inequity and keep children out of the criminal system. Dr. Danielson's talk was so insightful and I really appreciated how he taught through art. What was most impactful was the hour long conversation some of my peers and I had following the talk. One of my peers in specific, was so vulnerable in telling us her sister's struggle with institutionalization. It was emotionally moving to connect with my peers through our desire to reconstruct the healthcare system in such a way that values us.

The Final Week

I'm still not entirely sure how I will replace the SHPEP shaped hole in my heart. This community was truly my safe space and it's so crazy how I grew so close to these future doctors, dentists, and public health practitioners over the course of four short weeks, I loved every moment with them.

I'm grateful for the SHPEP men. For so long, the men who have surrounded me embodied the ideals of the patriarchy so I tended to stray away from guys in high school. It was a breath of fresh air to be surrounded by folks that share my gender identity and that showcase that masculinity is not inherently toxic. These men, some of which are not included in this picture, reminded me that masculinity can be nurturing, empowering to others, and vulnerable without making the individual fragile. As a naturally active person, I loved getting out with the guys to play frisbee, football, and soccer. We bonded with some men from Mexico and Poland through soccer. My perception of manhood has been shaped for the better.

As it was the last week, naturally, everyone wanted to spend as much time together as possible. Following our dinner, some of us decided to dance the night away at Trinity. None of us were particularly super into EDM but we made the most of it. The real fun happened after the group had dispersed to go back to the dorms. My friends had never before been on a Lime scooter, so at 2:00AM we were speeding through the streets feeling the wind on our faces. It was such a lovely way to conclude the night, especially as this was also the last day that we shadowed our respective physician. We went back to the dorms for a movie night, I most definitely slept through all of it but it was meaningful to share these final moments.

Staying up so late bit us in the butt somewhat, the next morning was our graduation. Thankfully everything ran smoothly. Dr. Wendy Barrington and Dr. Estell Williams delivered the speeches. Both were incredibly inspiring and really highlighted the need for people like us in healthcare. I could write pages praising Dr. Williams, her story is a true testament to what it means to be a black woman physician in the United States. We've conversated a max of three times and she has already done so much for me. I hope to continue this tradition of mentorship in the future. As Dr. Williams said, the goal is to retire programs such as SHPEP. We have a lot of work ahead of us but I look forward to playing my part in making healthcare more accessible and welcoming.

Our graduation lunch on the rooftop of the Hans Rosling Center for Population Health is likely the last time (although I hope it isn't) that all 79 SHPEP scholars will be in the presence of each other. I can only hope that our reunion will also be a cause of celebration, either because we have all graduated from our respective professional schools or because we found another passion that we are pursuing with the same rigor. It is hard to describe how I felt surrounded by life long friends and soon to be colleagues, I was certainly happy that we were given the opportunity to spend four weeks in each other's company but it was bittersweet as such an environment is difficult to replicate when everyone comes from different homes.

So many of my firsts were shared with this group of beautiful human beings, my first fourth of July spent away from home, my first time riding scooters through the night, my first time trying Korean food, my first time riding the ferry. By the time we caught the ferry, many of our peers had already began leaving to go back home. It was finally starting to set in, the calmness of it all out at sea was indescribable.

This was the final boba run of the summer, out-of-state folks would begin leaving that night starting at 4:00AM. My friend Jenny and I decided we would pull an all-nighter so we could say goodbye to everyone. It was not an easy task, we had played sardines and I definitely tired enough after this to find myself dozing off. Regardless, I was able to bid my farewell to most of the scholars, I hope that I will see them again.

I must sound like a broken record, especially as this reflection becomes very long, but it is so difficult to put into words what this program has meant to me and my development as a student, future healthcare worker, and most importantly, as a citizen of this planet. I am thankful for all those who made this program possible, the Roberts Woods Foundation, Nora, Dan, Dr. Williams, and the rest of the faculty. Most importantly, I am thankful for all the friends that I made during these four weeks. Their humility, wisdom, and desire to do good are unlike anything I have seen thus far in my undergraduate career. I genuinely hope that they are able to reach all their dreams and make the impact they wish to make on the world. I cannot wait for when we will be the network of professionals making dreams attainable for the next generation of students brave enough to dream despite the barriers they'll face.